Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
