You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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