I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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