I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
