and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
