dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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