I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
