If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
