you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
