his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
