Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
