Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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