I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
