I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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