I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
