There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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