I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
