i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
