he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
