i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
