Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
