I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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