There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
