How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
