I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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