i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
