I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
