goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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