Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
