that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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