If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
