do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
