you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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