We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they need to just BURY HIM!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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