38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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