Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
3 2 1 whiskey
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
