The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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