just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
