It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
