i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
