he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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