If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my poor anus
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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