She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can feel your judgement through the phone
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
