he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
