We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
