just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
