have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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