Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
