I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
