lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this boner is exhausting
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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