Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
