he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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